Sir Lickalot flipped out on Sunday night. Like never before, like some kind of strange thing happened…. AND WE MISSED IT. Let me start at the start and piece together the things we know. It was a crappy day weather wise and we spent the day inside playing scrabble and watching movies. We ordered lunch in and totally slothed around. We even refilled Sid Fishious cos he was hanging low, like that cloud on the Jimmy Dean Breakfast sandwiches ad. By evening we decided we should at least walk outside to dinner, (that’s code for I’m not cooking and if the King cooks any more steak we’re all gonna mutiny) that way we can actually trick ourselves into thinking we’ve done something physical for the day.Hey walking to the door for hotwings is physical, getting the plates is physical but I’ll play. We even chose a restaurant that was several blocks away… several, you guys! Not even across the street. For the exercise… And because it’s new and we wanted to try it out. But mostly for the exercise…
Dinner went as planned, Miss Gremlin was trying to sleep in her food until the coke kicked in then she couldn’t sit still and then she crashed…. We really should just learn and stop giving her soda. We enjoyed the food and will probably visit again although there were some problems, we know it’s new and they’re still finding their rhythm.
It was still raining when we came out so we jumped in puddles all the way home, just laughing and talking and doing the thing you do on the streets in Harlem after dinner on a Sunday. But when we opened the door to the apartment, we found devastation, the likes of which we haven’t seen from this dog before. Bits of fluff everywhere, all over the floor near the door. It took a while to register what it was but Grand Master D picked it…. it was our door snake, you know the foam double sided one you buy on tv? The name escapes me but that one. The inside part was dead, hunted, caught, killed and lying in pieces on the floor. Sir Lickalot was crouching, knowing he’d done wrong, then as we rounded the corner, the cushions of the new couch were on the floor, also weird because they weren’t like that when we left. My mind was working furiously, then upon closer inspection I could see little telltale hairs all over… dog hairs. He’d been on the couch. He never does that, well when I say never, I mean never unless something scary happens or the King gets out the drill.
SO something freaked him out while we were gone. But what? It must have been something bad because he chewed the door snake and got on the furniture. He’s never done that before ever! Especially not while we’re out. It’s like he was a different dog. We were only gone for an hour and a half. His reaction was such that I got to talking about it with Lucy the next day because it was significant, we ran through scenarios and discussed it and then we got off track and started being silly. Maybe he had a party? And his doggy friends wrecked the place. Then she said maybe his dealer came over… which is feasible because he is a nervous nelly and does need something! But because he doesn’t have opposable thumbs he couldn’t open the door. Maybe Sid Fishious attacked? Clown fish he may be… but still a threat is a threat. I’ve seen them eyeing each other.
I guess we’ll never know but it certainly had me worried for a couple of days, trusting him inside unattended… but yesterday he was fine and today he’ll be fine. Maybe he was just pissed off because it was raining and he didn’t get his doggy stroll around the ‘hood? I really wish he’s just learn to talk so we know what the hell goes on in his head… but I guess it could have been worse. He could have left us a message on the new rugs.One of those not so nice messages.
Still the question remains…
Do you have crazy animals? Do they ever give you welcome home surprises?