Yesterday was not a good communications day for the King and I. He already has an attention span that is minimal at best, picture a ferret on crack, team that with zero patience and you get ….” I have NO idea what you’re saying” as a regular answer to something I might be trying to discuss. So trying to discuss anything of any significance is futile. However I tend to be a slow learner and still try to have these conversations where I expect him to listen and comprehend….In my defense over the last 23 years I have learned that the big stuff needs to be in writing. All our best fights are done by email. Come on, stop judging, this is an awesome way to fight! There’s no emotion, and you have time to formulate how you want to respond. I’m way wittier that way 😛
Anyway back to the weekend, we were not communicating well at all and while getting frustrated with each other, we had heated but playful banter. Miss Gremlin didn’t like it at all, she thought we were fighting. We had to explain that we don’t really fight and we were just having a discussion. We have nothing really to fight about, we seem to have done all that many years ago, we know each other well enough to know when to pick the right time 🙂 Like DON’T try to to talk about anything for at least an hour after the King wakes up! And you’ll get a way better response to any strange requests or wrong doings after you’ve put out! (Am I right Ladies?)
While we were discussing all of this we were enjoying our meal together outside. Meals times are always great teachable moments.The most interesting topics come up, well in our house anyway! Grand Master D made a comment that he’s never heard us fight and that was really cool. I felt inwardly proud of us as a couple. Of course by the time he came along we’d sorted out a lot in our relationship, even though we continue to have the occasional boundary realignment along the way. We talked to them both about having opinions and the fact that even though we’re married, we are still our own people and we do have differing ideas and we do occasionally argue but we don’t do it in front of them. We explained that it’s not fair to them and not something they even need to know about. My parents never fought in front of me and I don’t believe children need to be involved in their parents differences, it’s unsettling.
Home needs to be a secure place and children should be shielded from marital problems as much as possible. I felt quite proud that the kids hadn’t really heard us fight before… I feel like we’re doing something right.
If you must argue and we all must sometimes, try to do it out of earshot of the children. I’m sure thats what all the experts say 🙂
Over the years we’ve worked out how to fight really well… we email back and forth, get a bit yelly late at night so the kids don’t hear, then after the appropriate amount of time the King will say ‘I’m sorry you got angry at me’, and then it’s done!
It’s quite perfect in it’s own fucked up way. We’re happy, and that’s what counts, right?
How do you fight with your significant other? Do you try not to fight in front of the children? Do you use social media? Have you worked out most of the kinks in your relationship?
It’s really about picking the right battles…… isn’t it?