She MADE me get in a Cab- Part II HMM tour Guide

After Church, Harlem and our burgers, which you can catch up on here , go ahead, I’ll wait…..

Ok ready?  We needed to head downtown to get on a boat. Yep us on a boat. We were going to Ellis Island, Birthday Boy had never been and Hot Mess Mom wanted him to see it. Actually I hadn’t been either… and they invited us along, that was their out and we were still with them, bonus. I knew serving breakfast would help 😉  So naturally I began to look for a subway as that’s my natural mode of transport in the city. I refuse to get in cabs, I hate them, shitty drivers who can’t understand you and are rude and generally assholey, I just refuse, nope, no cab for me, they’re not good enough drivers to take my life in their hands. Did you know 7/10 of all motor vehicle accidents in the city involve cabs. That’s 70 fucking %. NOPE, not doing it. Subway, bus, walk…. It’s also a great fitness tool.  Anyway, Miss HMM drive everwhere from Florida says ‘lets grab a cab…’ Well the look on my face must have said it all. Probably thinking I didn’t want to spend money she said ‘I’ll pay” to which I replied, “NO it’s not THAT! I HATE cabs.  After much cajoling *sigh * I got into the yellow chariot of death! In the middle. OH GOD take me quick, take me now! There was a remote possibility this guy could drive, he was pleasant and understood what we were saying as we gave directions to the Liberty ferry. HMM put her homeless cart in the trunk. She buys a cart every time she comes, for her shopping and then leaves it in the hotel. Great idea for hauling around all the loot you buy while touring the city. This is where she stored her cd, Harlem tshirts and Old Navy pj’s, there still were no panties. She totally did NYC commando. This could be why I love her.

And we were off hurtling down 56th st in the great big yellow cab ‘o death. Of course this asshole couldn’t drive could he, he clearly got off the fucking boat last week and started driving. What is it with cab drivers, they use their accelerator like a morse code tapper, surging along the road almost giving us whiplash. I was PISSED! She was laughing! Like evil laughing, and we had a loooong way to go. By the 3rd intersection I thought I was gonna hurl and I told the HMM that etiquette insists that one must always vomit to the left….. she was on my left. That’ll teach ya!  As we made our way on to FDR drive, the surging got a little less and I managed to hold my chucks for another day.

As we reached out destination, I saw all the capital works going on, fences everywhere, blocking off our entrance to the ferry. This threw us a bit, and the cab let us out a little further up than we should have been, not to worry we could walk, as we alighted, some pushy bitch started trying to get in…. WHAT? Anyway we got out and off we headed as the cab careened around the corner with the new ‘death ride’ occupant.

Getting our bearings we wandered back down toward South ferry to get into where the Libery boats go… We’re walking and talking and then it hits her… NO HOMELESS CART! Oh no! We left it in the trunk. SHIT, but we had the cab receipt and we looked up how to retrieve lost property as we walked along. Expecting a long line I wasn’t sure whether we were going over or parting company there. I wasn’t gonna line up for hours while they toddled off with their prepaid tickets…but as we rounded the corner, ticket line nirvana! NO line. And so Grand Master D and I decided that we would indeed join them for a lovely boat ride over to Ellis Island.

Lovely boat ride indeed, you know Sunday was cold right? It’s January… but we sat outside, OUTSIDE because where else would you sit when you float past Lady Liberty, seriously. That ride was the coldest I’ve ever experienced but did we go inside? No, the boys went to the edge and hung over and messed around like boys do and came back to warm up behind the bulkhead. photo 2 (4) photo 3 (5)We sat there like little old ladies, homeless women without the cart. Oh yeah the cart! So lost and found let’s you apply to find your stuff for the sum of $47 online, the stuff in the bag wasn’t worth that much so HMM just ditched trying, with a request that I go shopping on 125th and send her some Harlem tshirts. I can totally do that… who knows I may throw in some spare knickers too 😉photo 1 (5)

After floating through the frozone layer we arrived at Ellis island, just in time for the last show of the day, Grand Master D was looping out a little on the boat muttering to himself, ‘I’m not tired, Im not tired’. It was weird, I think he needed sugar (way to go kid, showing our weird to the HMM’s)

As we settled into the warm theatre for the show he drifted off to sleep, missing most of the movie. I took this as a sign to take the poor boy home. We grown ups thoroughly enjoyed the film about Ellis island and the history, both boys napped. I thoroughly recommend it when you come to visit but I’m not joining you if the lines are long, just sayin’.
When I woke Grand Master D to leave he jumped up and said ‘Ok… What’s next!’ He continued arguing with me when I said we needed to go home, always the sign of a good time had. But it was the right call. It was dark, it was cold and it was time to be inside. We’d been running around the city since 9am. We saw heaps and had a wonderful time. It’s always best to leave them wanting more 😉

We found a subway this time and headed uptown pointing them in the direction of Toysrus as we headed home to Harlem. A job well done.

Thanks so much Hot Mess Mom for allowing us to spend the day with you. Until next time, this is A Mother Life out–my feet hurt YO!…

photo 5 (2)

Comments 4

  1. I read both Part 1 & 2. Sounds like so much fun. What I wanna know is how much did the cab cost you? That’s a long haul. I’m the opposite of you – love cabs, HATE the subway. You can’t get hurt in a cab b/c you’re only going 10mph! Anyway, looked high & low for that Pug video but I couldn’t find it on my site. It’s on YouTube – Loca the Pug who couldn’t run. I tried putting the link here but your site won’t let me.

    1. Post
  2. I’m right there with you on the yellow cab thing they scared the shit out of me, the worst one was the the ride to JFK airport, I think I nearly broke Jeffs hand and I totally get the morse code thing….. they would not be my preferred mode of travel in NY

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *