I was a tour guide, She was famous–it was love at first sight

I got to have a city playdate with the Hot Mess Mom. You guys have no idea how excited and honored I felt when she reached out to me to let me know she was coming to town. Little me, a nobody and she wants to meet me and interact. She has over 200k followers on her Facebook page and thousands of followers on her blog! She’s famous and shit yo! There’s probably thousands of those who live here in the city with me, but she chose me! Boom bitches! Ok I’ll stop, I know you’re rolling your eyes.

We did all the standard things beforehand, like swap cellphone numbers (I swapped cell phone numbers with the Hot Mess Mom) ahem, sorry, and made loose arrangements so we could connect. I did some planning of where to take them. The pressure was on!  Must impress, what if I’m a lame tour guide, what if she hates me… OMG the anxiety! I know, sorry, anyway, I told her how to get uptown so we could go to the gospel church right near my apartment. This place is  so great that tour buses come from all over shuffling people through who want the ‘Black Gospel Church’ experience. You will not be disappointed.

We ‘met’ on the street just before but with time enough for them to come up to Planet Mills for some breakfast and the best coffee around…Meeting someone IRL after they have only lived in your computer is weird. I didn’t even know what she looked like, you know cos she covers her face all the time! It’s kind of like we’re long lost friends who’ve never met. I had no idea what to actually expect but I had formed an opinion, and I was right. She is awesome!

We quickly loaded up on bacon and eggs and coffee so we could make the 9:30am service. Fully fueled we headed to the First Corinthians Gospel church, it was such a moving experience but totally lost on the boys…They were bored out of their minds within minutes. We took photos of the church but that shit was shut down in minutes by an usher… SNAP! We’re so naughty.

After church we headed back home because Hot Mess wanted another cup of coffee, yeah ok I did too, and she wanted the tour of our place and meet the King, no trip to the city is complete without it right? people who aren’t from New York  love to see inside New York apartments, apparently.

So we were ready for our day…..

She’d been posting photos of her sight seeing with her son for the 2 days before we met up and I was getting quite excited. I love seeing  people enjoy our city for the first time. I made a list of fun things to do that are not the standard tourist stuff. Some secret things, things you need a local to show you… wait, when did I become a local? 

Our first stop was to walk up Lenox Ave from the Church to 125th st and the heart of Harlem culture. Lenox (6th ave) is really cool to look at, it’s a wide street with an island in the middle and brownstones and historic building everywhere. Every other corner has a church and as we walked I explaining that it was in the movie American Gangster. I always get a thrill out of watching movies where I recognise the locations. And I hoped they would too. Well HMM was ducking in and out of churches and running back and forth across the street checking it all out! She was loving it! We got to Sylvia’s, you know where soul food was born, probably not but it’s very famous. Then we headed along 125th, stopping in H&M to buy underwear, HMM forgot to pack any in the worry of making sure she had enough layers. Haven’t we all done that? I know I have. FYI, H&M don’t sell underwear. Moving along we passed Clinton’s office and all the oil and scent sellers and scarf, hat and handbags sellers, finally reaching the Apollo.

We got some great shots outside the Apollo and HMM bought a cd for a street seller hocking his wares. He was pretty cool though. A little further down there’s a lady who sells these really cute Harlem shirts. HMM got some for the nieces and one for herself. Standard touristy stuff.

We found Old Navy on the next block and went in… you know, for underwear, they don’t sell it either but she grabbed some pjs. ( this is important later)

Next stop midtown. We jumped on the train and got off at 59th columbus circle, a quick walk through the mall and a rub of the brass man’s peepee. Grand Master D was insisting we go to the Mandarin Oriental, I mean really insisting, so we did and he was right, we had a drink and looked out the windows across the park, shared some more stories while the boys did their thing.

The boys got on like a house on fire. Which was awesome cos not all kids do. And it totally made the day better. Yeah we might not’ve stopped talking all day too. Pretty sure we covered all 4 decades of our lives 😉

After our little drinkie up in the sky we walked through the park, discussed Tower Heist and where they filmed it… You know Grand Master D isn’t gonna let you get out of discussing it at some point. A gentle stroll through the bottom of the park and down 7th Ave to the Le Parker Meridian where the secret burger joint is. It’s an awesome place, this divey little place hidden behind the curtain in the ritzy lobby of the hotel, we ordered then sat in the lobby and ate our food. Great burgers, do yourself a favour and seek it out!

With lunch done we headed off for more adventure….

To be continued 

part II-The revolting cab ride and we get on a boat…stay tuned

Don’t forget to Hook Up …. It is Hump Day after all.