Are We There Yet?

Seriously, this school year will NOT DIE… Yesterday was a half day. Brilliant idea. Make the kids get up on a Monday morning to go to school until 11:30. These guys are smokin’ crack! I may need some soon but this is how we’re limping to the finish line….

morning routines

6:40.. I’m rudely awoken from awesome dreams by ‘natural’ buzzing of the wrist from my Up by Jawbone band. I head to the loo to read my latest tweets and facebook stuff then silently slip downstairs so as to not wake the King. I shut one door and open the other for Sir Lickalot, who is so pleased to see my feet hit the floor, he immediately ‘talks’ as loud as he can. I shush and direct him out and he takes care of his tweets and facebook updates.

6:45. I struggle to the couch where I flop, just to get myself together enough to face the day…I open my laptop because what else would you do but delve immediately into the internet in the morning. I whizz around checking stats and comments on the blog, read more in depth into the facebook statuses and delete the 65 Target, Victoria Secret and Old Navy emails I have accrued since midnight’s last check. I check the time…

6:53, great plenty of time before getting the children up at 7:00. Then I see my A Mother Life facebook  has 666 likes! Panicked, I head to my groups to plead for salvation in the form of ONE MORE LIKE. I look up at the cable box.

7:04, shit… I quickly jump up and head toward the Junior suite, where the cherubs enjoy their last moments of slumber before the hell that is a school morning washes over them. I go to Grand Master D first, as he’s the hardest to get moving. I swear this child turned 11 and received cement shoes…He wakes with a start, like he does every morning. I gently stroke his arm after I’ve already started calling his name. He grumbles and turns over. I head around the other side to wake my shiny morning baby… Miss Gremlin. I repeat the procedure, gently stroking arm after saying her name.. She’s less than chipper this morning. Its just that time of year…but I persist in my task  knowing there’s no other way. I head back to Grand Master D, who is comatose once again.. Shit boy.. ‘GET UP mate.. Come on, lets go.’

7:15 They finally stumble out of the room. Shit, we’re late…I point to the bathroom for Miss Gremlin, otherwise she waits until Grand Master D is in the shower…. every damn day. I ask what they’d like for breakfast and begin my frenzied kitchen whirlwind…raisin bran, vegemite toast and pineapple juice for her… As Grand Master D tries desperately to snuggle down into the bar stool at the counter, I painfully extract his breakfast request. Fruit loops and raisin toast and apple juice please. I dispense the gummy vits and have a glass of water while I wait to butter toast. A quick look at the clock shows 7:25.

While they’re munching, I get their clothes ready, placing hers on the end of her bed and his just inside the bathroom. I hurry them up with their eating as the clock reads 7:30, mockingly.

I finish my water and rush them to get dressed. Grand Master D showers and Miss Gremlin dresses. She comes out, all ready within a few minutes while Grand Master D is still in the shower. This kid is the cleanest boy I know! He finally exits the bathroom, it’s a good day as I haven’t had to knock 3 times…time check

7:44 We’re ok, five minutes they can do it… Miss Gremlin is sent to the bathroom to brush her teeth, with a reminder to ‘do a good job’ while I call into Grand Master D to get off his bed and get dressed, but he’s dressed this morning, that was yesterday… 

7:48 panic begins to rise in my chest… Miss Gremlin’s almost good to go and asks me to help her untie the knots of champions in her laces. As we work together we finish a shoe each and she puts them on, grabs her bag and the suit for dry cleaning and heads out the door! She’s my favourite today.. She wins the go to school race.

I head back to check on Grand Master D’s progress. He’s brushing his teeth… no he’s squeezing a zit. OMG what have I started…. anyway. I give him a time update and he looks ok, it’ 7:50 but if he leaves now he’ll make it by 8:00. He leaves the bathroom, we’re on track , we’re gonna make it …………….

And then it all falls apart! I don’t even know what stops him… but the next time I look it’s 7:56 and I’m in a frenzy… lets go! You’re gonna be late again! Come ON!

How did we ever get out the door by 7:40 when I was walking them? I know, less free will, I was in charge… but now I just sit and wait as the clock on the cable box flips from 7:59 to 8:00, my dreams of not receiving  a call from school at 6pm are shattered. He comes and hugs and kisses me and I say good bye. My reward for being patient. 🙂 I hear the elevator and then I hear the lock on the door, it jiggles, clinks and nothing… I get up and open the door and there’s Grand Master D…. ‘I need a pen.’ he announces. I offer him the one on my desk 5 feet from the door but he walks down the 30′ hallway into his room to get HIS pen. Minutes tick by, well it seems that way…he re-emerges with his pen and walks out the door.

They’re gone… it’s over.I slump on the couch to regain my composure… coffee, that’s what I need .

You should be proud! I manage all of that every day with out coffee!

But soon, very soon, it will be summer and I will wake naturally without the buzz of an armband alarm, probably around 8, without the frenzy and without the panic of being late….but not today, not this week……

Comments 21

  1. We live too far from school…for them ever to walk. But this would be me if they did. I do drive with two cups of coffee…one to have on the way and one to enjoy when they exit the vehicle in peace and quite. Its lovely.

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