I Don’t Even Know What This Means!

This conversation really happened. I’m not really sure who is the most embarrassed… maybe you can decide.
Driving out of town on friday afternoon, now you know that driving can get a bit boring but along the way there are things to distract and give amusement.

The scene is set, driving along the Long  Island Expressway, the King announces “That’s a big ‘Merican flag!”

Miss Gremlin pipes up: “What’s a ‘Merican?”learn about sex

Grand Master D: “It’s a fur bikini!”

The King: “Wait What? How do you know about that?”

Miss Gremlin: “A what?”

At this point I’m thinking what the hell are they talking about , because I wasn’t really paying attention.. because, you know,  twitter and facebook!

But I’m tuned in now…

The King asks again:” How do you know about that?”

GMD :”Conan,…………..long uncomfortable pause, thinking, shit, I’ve said too much.

Me: “Maybe you shouldn’t be watching Conan! And what is it again?”

King: “A merkin”

Me: “What the hell is that? Ok how do you spell that? I’m googling it”

GMD: “Um … M-e-r?”

ME : “never mind! I found it OMG! Grand Master D, how did you know about this?”

Miss Gremlin: “What the?” (no she’s not allowed to say ‘what the’ but I let it slide, you understand) “Who would want a fur bikini?”

The car broke out in to uncontrollable fits of laughter for a long time, miles even. We all had tears rolling down our faces, gasping for breath and I came really close to peeing!

Here’s the definition:

The Oxford Companion to the Body dates the origin of the pubic wig to the 1450s. According to the publication, women would shave their pubic hair for personal hygiene and to combat pubic lice. They would then don a merkin. Also, prostitutes would wear a merkin to cover up signs of disease, such as syphilis.[1][2]
It has also been suggested that when male actors played female parts onstage, they would cover their genitals with a merkin so they could expose themselves as women in nude scenes.[3]
According to the Oxford English Dictionary first use of the term itself was in 1617.

So if you didn’t know what a merkin was before, now you do! If you did… why didn’t you tell me? How come I had to learn it from my 12 year old who desperately wanted to change the subject!

This is what happens when you google it...

This is what happens when you google it…

 

 

 

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      Right! I was hyperventilating from laughter… both my kids, 9 and 12 couldn’t stop laughing and my husband was almost choking while driving… But we had the best time….

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  1. Hilarious! I love the part about male actors wearing them to try to look like naked women! That must have been a sight! I wonder what they did for the top half? Balloons?

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  2. Omg! ROFLMAO!!! I love when those conversations happen spontaneously. Poor kid. He probably wanted to exit the vehicle. By the way, I had NO idea. Just. Eeew.

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  3. The important thing is not to get your Merkin and your hair piece mixed up…unless you’re going for the 1980s popstar faux perm look…In which case, carry on

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  4. Whoa now. That is NOT what I expected to read when I waited for the pasta to boil. But I’ve had a long day and it kinda made me forget myself and my own nagging mother. WHO WOULD WANT A FUR BIKINI??? Seriously. People ;o)

  5. Holy crap!! Lmao!
    How is it that I can be 41, have watched Conan and still have absolutely NO IDEA what a Merkin was? lol.
    I wouldn’t classify myself as a prude but clearly I have a lot to learn 😛
    fyi… I think I will be banning Conan. haha

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