And You thought your Husband was Weird

We all have quirks right? Some of us have stranger ones than others and we learn to navigate each others things when we live together for any length of time. It’s part of the fabric of a relationship, agreed? 

Well this story is just weird enough that you guys need to know, I’m living with a crazy person 😛

First a little back story. I love to do laundry, it’s a thing.

Moving on….

I use all the good products, no corner cutting in this house, tide and downy all the way. Well, some time ago My Lord Dr King mentioned to me that people were commenting on his clothing smell. I thought this was weird but whatever, people are weird, it happened a few times and so we decided that the fabric softener was to blame and I eliminated it from my laundry routine. I’m nothing if not flexible with my obsessions.

Things went along normally, nobody really noticed the change although the weird smell comments stopped, or he stopped relaying them to me…

Sometime later and completely unrelated, My Lord Dr King was being annoyed by the pillows rubbing on the bedhead and making a squeaky sound and disturbing his sleep. This turned into a full blown thing that went on for months and eventually our bed was pulled apart and the sides and foot are now in the basement, just so the bed can be a few inches away from the bedhead. He built a contraption to keep it apart no matter the active movement in the bed. It’s mildly annoying because now things can fall down and to retrieve them I end up doing all sorts of super human contortion moves.. Nevertheless the issue was fixed.

However, after some time the squeaking returned, and My Lord Dr King once again became obsessed with stopping this noise… Oh the joys of living with the sonically sensitive!

The bedding squeaks… No really, that was his discovery. Especially since he’s spent quite a bit of time away from home and in hotels and friends spare rooms of late. “No one else’s sheets and pillow squeak, what are you doing to make ours squeak like this?”

Of course at this point I think he’s losing it because really? You can’t sleep because the sheets squeak? Give me a break. Don’t let anyone ever tell you people don’t get weirder with age.
So Sunday morning he proved to me that we had squeaky sheets and we had a discussion on the products used. Now remember, I gave up fabric softener some time ago because he said it smelled weird on his clothing…

I don’t buy cheap sheets, they are all cotton and high thread count, thick and a little stiff but more crisp than anything, certainly not uncomfortable or scratchy. Crisp, clean, good quality linen like Grandma used to have. You know before you used them for 6 months and put your feet through the bottom of the sheet.

But my darling found them to be unacceptable because of the squeaking. Seriously? 1000 thread count not enough for you? I’m living with the Princess and the pea!

But as I mentioned, I am nothing if not flexible, it’s a gift. And so as we lay in bed Sunday laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation, I promised to try to remedy it for his sonic sensibilities. *eyeroll*, I’m an excellent wife like that.

First thing Monday morning, I stripped the bed, ran out to the store, purchased the best quality fabric softener and went about washing 5 sets of sheets, putting on the extra rinse cycle and adding fabric softener to the mix. With every load that came out, I took it to him for a test to see if it still squeaked. I also brought other clothing for the test… And yes they squeaked when the top of his fingernail was dragged over the fabric. We laughed and laughed. Who even has this issue?

Monday IS washing day after all.

When everything was finally washed, fabric softened, rinsed and dried, I remade the bed and waited for the ultimate test.

Experiment outcome:  Sheets do not squeak when fabric softener is applied.

Who knew fabric softener was so important?

And now my friends when you see My Lord Dr King, if he smells like fabric softener you’ll just have to deal because squeaky sheets and loss of sleep is more important than how you smell…

Apparently.

Can you top this quirk? Come on share your partner’s crazy… we’re all in this together.

Comments 2

  1. Rev. Fred

    Thank you for a great chuckle over breakfast. Classic SEM

    But what of the bed? Has it been restored? Has he forgiven it?

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