Where My Kid Clears the Plane… and not in a Good Way

I think I’ve mentioned before, Miss Gremlin has sketchy personal hygiene at best. I try, I really do but she’s just a grub.

As these things often go we were on the plane, nicely settled in…  but then I could smell someone’s feet. The stench wasn’t too bad but it was starting to waft in our direction. That creepy foul smell that moves slowly but very persistently. I recognised it immediately. I hoped beyond all hope it wasn’t any of us, that the stench wasn’t emanating from our row. I asked Grand Master D if he had his shoes off and the I asked Miss Gremlin. It was her, I knew it, deep in my heart of hearts,the kind of thing a mother just knows. She had taken her shoes off.

My God this kid can produce smells the likes you’ve never seen, I mean smelled. I know now I should have, but I didn’t even think about making her shower and change her socks before we left home. I guess that’s the travel anxiety, I was focused on other things when I should have been worried about the stinky kid 🙂   She had been at school all day and had decided to remove her odour eaters unbeknownst to me. Those things are miracle workers I swear! I have no idea how they work but I don’t question it. Some things just are.. right?!

The picture is blurry because of the Smell. Even the camera couldn't cope

The picture is blurry because of the smell. Even the camera couldn’t cope.

There we were stuck in a plane about to take off for 7 hours and this… the smell was beginning to spread. Panic was setting in, what to do? Think woman, think…

 

And then it came to me, like a sign from the febreeze gods. As soon as we leveled out and the seatbelt signs went off we headed to the bathroom. I made her sit on the toilet while I washed her feet in the sink with soap. I’ll let that sink in, so you can get a mental picture, got it? Ok let’s continue…She protested naturally. It’s quite a difficult task. If any of you have flown with babies you know how hard it is to change your baby in the airplane bathroom. Imagine trying to wash an 8 year olds feet in the sink! Too many legs and not enough room. 8 years olds are big. How do people even have sex in those bathrooms? Oh sorry, I got distracted, my bad.

I think I may have even stretched her a bit. She was upset and embarrassed too but what else could I do? We couldn’t sit with that smell for the 7 hour journey.

After the bathroom stretchercise, when we got back to our seat I put her socks in a plastic bag, although I seriously contemplated throwing them away. But remembering that we packed light and I didn’t want the same thing to continue to ruin our vacation, I wrapped them up. Crisis averted, no need for the plane to turn back to the airport, and I appeased neighbouring passengers. I am totally related to MacGyver.

I told the King when we got back to our seats… he rolled his eyes and laughed, explaining to me that he was getting the blame and had received ‘looks’ so he had put his shoes back on.

We managed the remainder of the flight unscathed.

Have you ever had a hygiene issue on a flight? Was it you or someone else?

Comments 12

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  1. We narrowly escaped an incident when my oldest was one – stomach virus the day of our cross-country flight to Hawaii. But God bless him, he held it in check until we got to the hotel that night. The diaper was so bad I had to walk it outside to the dumpster at the far edge of the parking lot!

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  2. LMBO. Way to think on your toes Momma! I can totally put myself in this situation! I remember being in the car (less confined though), and all of a sudden we smelled SOMETHING. We asked Lovebug (who at the time was potty training) if she had gone potty –I would have bet money on in! Turns out it was her shoes! Holy moly! FIrst thing I did when we got home was pop them into the washer!

  3. Haha! I have a smelly footed one (he’s 10) and we’ve had some stinky feet moments at inopportune times…but being trapped on an airplane! Oh my! Genius idea to wash them in the sink. I probably would have sat there the entire flight giving others the stink eye (pun intended), acting like I had no idea where the smell originated! 😛

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  4. I am surprised TSA didn’t isolate her step for further searching. Chemicals and strong odors are red flags. You might want to carry a package of moist hand wipes with you in case you find yourself somewhere without an airplane toilet sink.

  5. There is positively no way to make the flight to Melbourne without hygiene issues across the board! I actually bring PJ’s and the next days change of clothes, with fresh undergarments. I also keep a scented spray for the passengers who don’t wash their feet and asses.

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