Little Toes, Big Trouble

Today was the day, the day of days, I guess. It was my first use of the new health insurance. And since we got the fancy pants one, I’m not afraid to use it. 😉

It was time to finally consult with someone who really has a clear idea about how to fix this stupid toe!

toe 2

I walked there, through the ‘hood, above 125th st which is a whole other level of crazy than where we live. Dog fight in front of me, one owner grabs hers while the other tries to get the enthusiastic puppy under control. As I walk behind the woman and her unleashed dog, he poops, she’s 15 feet ahead, she knows but she doesn’t care…I wanted to tell her to pick it up, I wanted to abuse her for being an irresponsible dog owner but I was acutely aware of where I was and that’s the kind of shit that gets you shot, and because Miss Gremlin was babysitting herself (the neighbour below knew she was there in case of the zombi apocalypse)
I wanted to be as safe as possible. I passed her as she turned into the store with the dog hightailing it inside behind her. Health violation much?

When I arrived at the podiatrist, 25 blocks up, (exercise, check), I announced my arrival and was greeted with the 30 forms required to be a new patient.

Have you ever smoked, did any family members have, cancer, high blood pressure, heart disease blah blah, are you allergic? (I’m allergic to answering the same questions 25 times.)

Anyway all that done, and payment out of the way, I was escorted into the little room aka torture chamber… (I heard the lady before me scream!)

And another round of questions. The same. Then the fun part, I got to wear the lead apron so my feet could be x-rayed. I had to remove my toe ring, that bad boy hasn’t been off my foot in 10 years!

The nurse was very enamoured with it!

She took pictures of my left foot from the top and side and my right foot top and side, then allowed to put my toe ring back on, I waited.

waiting toes

Not long really, I managed to answer Miss Gremlin’s request to eat pie, of course pie is an acceptable food when your home alone sick and my friendly doctor wandered in. He was lovely, he’s a sikh, with his headdress on, he has family in Sydney and he’s going there this summer. ME TOO! Except the sikh bit.

With the pleasantries out of the way, we looked at my toe, then at my x-rays and what I thought was the problem was correct. It was out of whack, I told him the whole saga and he explained that I probably broke it initially. So it’s healed in a deformed way, the bone has grown and pushed the other  bone off to the side. NO amount of manipulation will fix it. This bad boy needs surgery.

Screen Shot 2014-05-06 at 2.26.56 PM

Now there are two options. One which can be done in his rooms, will take  about 20 minutes and I can walk out afterwards…. with vicodin because the King requested the good shit. *eyeroll* It’ll fix the problem and reduce the swelling and straighten the toe but there’s a chance it won’t stay straight. I’ll be in a boot and stitches for 3 weeks.

Or option two, have surgery at an outpatient facility and have a pin put in the end, same scenario but a guarantee to have a straight toe. Now straight isn’t really my worry, they’re toes and as long as I’m pain free and back to normal I don’t need the fancy pin.

So I’m set to have option 1 on friday, I’m told it’ll be easy and painless. I’m not worried but I’m not convinced it’ll be painless either. I’ve have many procedures before so that doesn’t bother me, the fact that he can do it so quickly and in his office is surprising and kinda awesome!

toe

I told you I was gonna use my insurance, if they approve the surgery of course because apparently they’re in charge of my health now… *eyeroll*

In the mean time I better get a pedicure because with stitches and a boot for 3 weeks, that shit won’t be happening again for a while, right?

Priorities people, priorities.

Comments 7

  1. Good luck, lady! I was told by my podiatrist that I have “quite the deformities. I’m surprised you’re not in extreme pain.” Comforting, right?
    I’m holding out for my surgery until my youngest is old enough to wipe her own ass. I hope you heal quickly!

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