Don’t Put Chocolate in your Hoohaa- Just Trust Me, OK?

You might think that not putting chocolate up inside yourself would be obvious ………..I’m a smart lady and that would seem like a given right? but I’m here to assure it’s not.


When you’re young and silly, you are apt to try new things. This is good because new experiences help you grow as a person. This is also true sexually. It’s important to explore things, how else do you find out what you like and what is just a little too kinky.

Of course you must be with someone you feel comfortable with and safe so that you can relax and enjoy whatever new experience you’re about to try. Or so I’ve heard 🙂 being that I’m still as pure as the driven snow……snort!

So this one time…………..

We were on the road, the King and I,

It was the early days, he was a rock musician and I was……..I was………………

the hotel room entertainment :).

We spent a lot of time on the road going from town to town and gig to gig. It was really was lots of fun….. every time movies like The Banger Sisters, Almost Famous or Walk the Line or any other rock musician movie comes on tv we get a little nostalgic for the old days….but then we remember how hard it was too and how sucky living on the road really is. (sigh)

There we were in some little backwater town somewhere in Australia, and we decided we’d take a bath, with bubbles, cos baths with bubbles are more fun than without, especially for 2.

Things are moving along in the usual fashion (insert own dirty bath sex thoughts here) when I decided that some chocolate would be nice……to eat.

So I jumped out to get some, we got into a wrestle because I wasn’t sharing, the King wanted some and blah blah blah, you can picture the scene. He was almost able to grapple the chocolate from my grasp when I had a brainwave and hid it where you just shouldn’t.

Well we both disolved in fits of laughter, the King couldn’t believe it!

His face registered total shock.

He wasn’t getting MY chocolate -but then it happened…….remember we’re in a warm bath, with warm bodies and it’s chocolate …… a hoohaa and IT WON’T COME OUT.

It had started to melt so I couldn’t grab it……..panic registered on my face. Foreign objects were not a regular inclusion into my lady parts. I was am a good girl.

What were we gonna do? I had 6 squares of chocolate stuck, up inside me. INSIDE me.

Alternating between hysterical laughing and mild panic, we worked out that if I just sat in the warm water and kept washing, that eventually the chocolate would melt and come on out into the bath………….

And so it did     (phew)

But for a little while I thought I was going to have to explain to the emergency department why I had a chocolate hoohaa.

Comments 7

  1. OMG, I am crying laughing over here. That is TOO funny. I got a condom stuck up inside me once. I actually had to go and have it removed. Not my finest moment. The funny thing is, the guy (not my husband – gasp!) was all braggy about buying the “gold coin” condoms, which clearly were too big for him!

    But I’ve never thought to put chocolate there…

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  2. Oh. My. God. Molley I’m seeing you in a totally different light!! That’s hysterical!! Glad everything worked out okay (pun intended).

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