10 Things Husbands Don’t Get

As husbands go I think I’ve got a good one šŸ™‚ I have to say that of course cos he’s the only one I’ve got. On a serious note though, he’s a good man, he loves me and shows it by providing for the kids and I to the best of his ability.. and so far his ability is pretty damn awesome. He cares about our well being and our future. He does all the important man stuff required to keep a family happy, healthy and comfortable….. And he’s pretty damn sexy. Back off he’s mine šŸ™‚

HOWEVER…….and you knew that was coming right?!

Here are 10 things that husbands should know but no matter how many times we tell them, they’re not retaining it. These are not specifically related to the King, Lord knows he’s the perfect man šŸ™‚ but women talk you know and we listen to each other’s complaints. Often commiserating together.
It’s purely a generalisaton with years of research…….. phew, did I dodge that ok?

1. We love you more than anything, would do anything for you….. except clean the toilet every day. There’s a brush just right there. It’s doesn’t bite….. use it.

2. You’re so big and strong and handsome, why can’t you open the dishwasher? It doesn’t have a secret combination lock and the dishes go there without a fight. Same goes for the laundry in the laundry basket.

3. Your manly whiskers show us how sexy you are………….except when they’re all over the sink, stuck down with shaving cream. Eewww.

4. No matter what you think about science and experimentation…… the towel will never dry on the bathroom floor, especially when it’s covering wet, dirty underwear.

5. Why do you need to prove your multi-tasking ability with the remote? We love the ads, that’s how we find out new products to buy for ourselves and exotic holidays to go on and movies to watch to escape the monotony. We like that part in the movie that we’ve seen 15 times. Step away from the remote, stop channel surfing, we hate it.

6. No we don’t want to just make you feel good when we’re crampy and cranky and generally off limits, no matter how ‘quick’ you promise to be, it’s never quick enough! The native tribes had the right idea…. send the women to the forest when it’s their moon-time. LEAVE US ALONE.

7. Please remember to give us advance warning when you’re bringing people over for drinks. If for no other reason than we’ll wear something nicer than sweat pants and we’ll skull something quick to ‘get in the mood to be fabulous’. We can’t all be Coretta Scott King you know.

8. Sleep is not for the weak, it’s for the exhausted, frustrated, overworked, cranky, dribbling woman in the corner……. let us have a sleep in occasionally. Not everyday but sometimes. The kids aren’t that scary, we promise.

9. We like talking for hours on the phone to our mothers and friends, come on….. we need to talk to someone šŸ™‚

and ………10. When we say we have a headache, we really DON’T want sex, even though you keep trying, we love you, don’t be offended but we just need to sleep tonight.

11. (cos cool things go up to 11.) No you can’t put THAT THERE, we’re not that type of girl, even when we think we are cos we’re shitfaced drunk a little tipsy. Sheesh.

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