Riding the Subway Ain’t No Big Thing

Subway systems all over the world have their good points and bad. Coming from NYC, we complain about the MTA constantly, because it’s shit and costs too much and it’s dirty and they break down and the rats and some stations smell like piss. Edinburgh, Scotland was our first experience, it was mostly above ground and it was fine. You needed to keep your tickets to exit at the other end and we got caught out a few times but we worked it out eventually.Our hotel was 2 stops away from the centre of the action and we worked out pretty quickly that the train was better than the cabs. When we arrived in London we wanted to experience the Tube, but our first attempt was a total fail. The worker who tried to help us actually suggested a cab!  Once we did get in there the next day, we were very surprised, it was almost pristine! The stations are clean and bright and they have glass doors that the train lines up with so crazies can’t push you on to the tracks into the path of an oncoming train. Besides the fact that most of Europe and the UK now have these chips on their credit cards which US banks don’t use yet and we couldn’t use any of our cards in the automatic ticket machines, we found it easy to use albeit really expensive AND it stops at midnight! So be sure that date doesn’t run over time or you’ll be footing it home. Pack sensible shoes in that cute purse of yours.

Once we got to Paris we discovered an even nicer system, it was all in French, naturally but we managed to work out where we wanted to go. We still had the credit card issue but we just went to the human in the booth and used our cards. Except for the one time there was no human, and the machine was broken, so we did what all good tourists do, we jumped the turnstiles, not such a big deal, they were easy enough to get over.

The train came and we got on it, for 3 stops, then we hopped off and this is where our problems really began. France has really good exit gates, and everywhere you go you must use your ticket to get out… ba-bow no ticket, no get out! We tried for a bit and couldn’t find a machine inside or a way out. So we did what all good tourists do when they’re stuck, we climbed out. The King went first.. he’s an excellent criminal, followed by Miss Gremlin who shimmied under the gates, I was hesitant, being so opposed to rule breaking that I didn’t want to but I did it very ungracefully. That left Grand Master D and he was having all manner of trouble. He couldn’t decide which way to do it, under like Miss Gremlin or over like Dad and he was worried, he couldn’t seem to get it together. It was at this time The King noticed the booth and the man in it watching us. Grand Master D finally got over and we were milling around deciding what to do, buy tickets? just leave?  At that moment another french man approaches up and says “I think I can help you?” I was a question but a statement as well. Perhaps his English wan’t up to par, and so we explained we couldn’t buy tickets at the other end and thought we  would buy tickets here. He says, “where are you trying to go? “To which we all answered ‘here!’ And as quick as a shot, with a huge smile on his face he replied.. ” And so you go” and waved us out. And 4 little tourists scurried out the door.

We are terrible criminals, too honest but we laughed all the way out the door and marvelled at our climbing skills, except Grand Master D, who clearly has some work to do!

jumping the turnstiles

 

 

photo 1-2See how badass I am?

After all our experiences, we’ve come to decide, while the New York subway is shitty and dirty … it sure is cheap and easy to get in and out of. There’s no deciding which stop to buy for, just get a card, swipe your $2.50 and as long as you don’t leave the underground you can ride anywhere all day. Just be sure to stay back against the wall, in case a crazy is in a pushing mood.

 

Comments 27

  1. We were thisclose to trying the subway in NYC, but I was a little too nervous. The “T” in Boston does not have any crazy track-pushers that I’m aware of…

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  2. I LOVE that your whole family jumped over the turnstyles! Awesome. I’m betting that is one of the biggest memories the kids will have, and their friends will be most impressed about!
    My sisters & I took the tube in London, I can’t remember what our malfunction was but the map was like an ancient foreign cartographers map, it took some doing. It didn’t help that we were drinking and shouting “Mind the gap!” at each other non-stop.
    That station pictured is SO CLEAN!!! Looks like a fantastic trip. Thanks for sharing!

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  3. Haha! Nice work you scoundrels!

    I was just in Paris and that damn credit card chip thing is so annoying! Come on America! Get it together! I had some weird issue too, where I bought a ticket and it wouldn’t always scan. I could get on the train sometimes and then other times big red beeps. One time, I got on fine and then when trying to get off it wouldn’t work and I got stuck between the gates. Like a 2 foot space. Oh ya, and I was carrying my huge bag. I panicked and a french guy kicked me. It was rude but it broke the gate and I made it! Luckily that was our last day.

  4. We lived in England for 3.5 years and our lack of pin & chip cards was so frustrating. Before any transaction, we’d have to ask if they took swipe cards (usually did, but lots of machines didn’t, as you know!). I loved the tube in London; I felt so grownup taking it. The closest thing my hometown of Portland, OR has is the Max, which is probably similar to Edinburgh. I do love public transport!

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  5. Oh my god! I would have been SO nervous about doing that!!! I’m so glad you didn’t get tossed in a French prison with no salon! I must say the Italian Tren Italia was like First Class on the Amtrak. Although we did get on the wrong train in Naples and almost ended up in Sorrento instead of Pompeii. DC’s subway is a dream – even I can’t get lost there! I’m hoping to try my hand at the NY subway soon. I may need your help!

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  6. When I moved to NYC, I heard a lot of track pushing stories and I spent the first year practically glued to the wall. I was so afraid of the subway although I’d ridden it on high school trips. The first time I got on as a resident, it broke down in the tunnel and the lights went out for fifteen minutes. I thought that was the end of the line for me. 😉 I can’t believe how much the fare has gone up over the years. Now I’m that old person who’s like “I remember when it was just a dollar. A DOLLAR!” haha

  7. My daughter would have never jumped the turnstile. She’s like a crazy rule follower. I have no idea where she picked up that annoying trait. She’s also the only one in the family that can read subway maps. I give and receive directions based on fast food landmarks so I’m totally lost in Europe. It sounds like y’all made a lasting memory.

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  8. I’ve been on the NYC subway many times. What I remember most is the *rush* and the smell. Not that there was always an offensive odor (although it happens!) but there is a distinct smell to the subway system in general. I wonder if it’s a common thread? Never been on another city’s system so I don’t know.
    Great post and photos! Enjoyed it!

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  9. Hmmmm. You leave your fellow New Yorkers with a few points to ponder here. Your pictures of the European tube/train look exceptionally well-groomed. There is something about keeping company with rats that makes me feel like I need to take a second look at my life. Should I venture out to Edinburgh? Paris? It all looks so enticing!

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  10. Amazingly clean subways? I had no idea they existed! Boston’s T is pretty run-of-the-mill gross. A rat here or there, funky smell, weird guy asleep on the bench. Pretty typical. Now I want to go to Europe just to ride the subway system. 😉

    Thanks for the Hook-Up!

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