Pull Your Damn Pants Up

Pants on the Ground

The ‘pants on the ground’ thing is getting old people! Enough already. I just hate it, and I swear every season they just keep getting lower. How did this even become a fashion thing? It just looks so ridiculous, kids walking along the street like they’ve shit themselves!  Don’t they know how stupid they look? I can’t help it, I laugh out loud every time. Even Miss Gremlin and Grand Master D point and laugh now. Of course this is probably not the wisest idea, lest we get shot cos who knows if they’ve got a gun tucked in their pants or not, we are in Harlem after all but we can’t help it.

I saw last week that Atlantic City has made it illegal on the boardwalk to wear your pants low! There have been other places that have also banned it. ABOUT TIME people. This just has to stop. I can’t wait until the trend changes.

How uncomfortable must they be honestly? Having to walk around all day holding your crotch so your pants don’t fall down. All to create an image. *eyeroll*
In the dead of freezing winter, you know those days, where you must blink fast or your eyeballs freeze? yeah that. So on one of those days last year I was walking on our block and a teen was walking just in front of me…I can only imagine how breezy his junk was feeling with his pants around his thighs. As I followed him, this guy who was waddling along the way they do, checked around, looking for his peeps and when he realised the coast was clear, those nice heavy, warm denims he was wearing, were hitched right up to his waist. I followed him as far as my door with a knowing smile, thinking how ridiculous he was but at least his brain did see reason and made him protect his boys in spite of his fashion nonsense.

Let me mention hygiene for a second. If you’re on a crowded train or bus and a guy is standing in front of you with his belt on his thighs, then you know that there’s nothing between his package and your face but a thin layer of fabric. That’s just GROSS!  What if the convenience hole gapes? Why do they think this is ok? Subjecting us to their business. Now I’m not scared of what’s under there, hey I’ve got kids, I’ve seen a penis or two but sitting on a train with my 9 yo daughter with some hood’s dick in our faces… that’s just not cool! I’d like to choose my own up close and personals thanks!

A few years ago now, when I still had to trek to school everyday to deliver and retrieve the children, we were walking home behind some teens with their pants ‘on the ground’ as its called and this one fellow had the great misfortune of not managing with the old cottonelle, if you now what I mean. So there we were walking home behind this kid with his pants around his thighs, his light heather grey underoos were showing and he had a great big brown skid mark all the way up the crack of his arse! Well, the kids thought it was the funniest thing they’ve ever seen! We just couldn’t stop laughing and there was plenty of eewwwwing and pointing too! OMG… if you’re gonna expose your duds then at least wipe until you’re clean!

Just eeewww people.

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