I went Mama Bear on a kid the other day. I happened to be at the school delivering Grand Master D‘s lunch and saw Miss Gremlin lined up. She looked a little sad but I let it go. Then a teacher called me over and told me a girl was kicking her at lunch time. Now we’ve had a few incidents of bullying lately and although it gets cleared up quickly, I’m sick of it happening. I’m not sure why it is happening because Miss Gremlin is a sweet and compassionate kid at school. Maybe because she’s getting so tall, maybe because she doesn’t like girly stuff. I really don’t know but this shit has to stop.
So after the teacher told me, I went back to Miss Gremlin and asked if she was ok, she started crying but said she was just tired. I know it wasn’t that but I also know not to push it. She’s 9 and those emotions and hormones are becoming a challenge.
So I did the next best thing. I went mama bear on the kid! In front of staff. I know how to do it. No touching, no threatening but making your point known in a strong way, I got down to eye level with this kid and told her in no uncertain terms that I didn’t like her kicking my child and that it’s not nice and we’re all friends and don’t do it again. I explained that was bullying behaviour and I’m sure she didn’t want to be a bully. Then I asked her if she understood me. With her wide eyes trained on me she assured me she understood and wouldn’t do it again. With that I left the area, went upstairs to inform the classroom teacher (covering my arse) and headed home. I felt bad for this kid but I wasn’t gonna put up with someone kicking my kid at lunch, making her miserable for no reason.
Then it struck me, what if I got in trouble, what if the parent came and got Mama Bear on me? Holy crap what did I just do? I’m just one little person, I may talk a big game but I’m a gooey mush inside. I crumble at the first threat. So now I’m panicking… This child’s mother might come and confront me. It was in the forefront of my thinking for the next 3 hours and when Miss Gremlin came home I was still worried.
I asked her how her day was and she told me that the girl came and apologised, of her own volition and they were friends again. I felt relief, for Miss Gremlin, that the situation was over but mostly for me because the child realised she did something wrong and fixed it and wasn’t going home tattling about the crazy white woman who got in her face at school.
Sometimes I just forget where I live. This time it was ok….Next time, I better think before I go Mama Bear on someone’s kid even though it’s my first instinct.
Have you ever had to go Mama bear on a kid being mean? How did you do it? Did you regret it later? Did it become a problem with another parent? It’s so tough to navigate…..
Comments 23
Oh I have BEEN there! My son gets bullied quite frequently. And I live in a not so nice neighborhood.. but sometimes that Mama Bear in me just needs to come out! I marched this 11yo boy to his front door after he hit my then 5yo with a stick. In the FACE!
Hoooboy, BAD idea. His mother went off on ME! I couldn’t believe it! Total backfire!
Glad your Mama Bear had more success!
Author
Yeah my neighbourhood is pretty sketchy but I had the teachers’ back up so….
My dad always told me that if you follow an asshole kid home, there’s bound to be an asshole adult waiting at the door for them…
I wish your dad told ME that! I had to learn it the hard way 🙂
I went Mamma Bear on a teacher once. SHE was the one bullying my son.
So this is how it went: Chase came home (11 years old and big for his age) CRYING! What? Miss I NEED TO GET LAID had badly embarrassed him in front of the entire class and this was NOT the first time. She used him as an example of what NOT to do/be/ etc. and said ALL OF THE OTHER TEACHERS FELT THE SAME WAY!
Ooookay….
Call to principal.
Whole team meeting scheduled within the hour. I don’t care if you have to tell them they (the Team) can’t go home yet.
They tried to seat me- but no, that trick doesn’t work with me cause I’M A TEACHER AS WELL.
THEY SAT DOWN. I stood.
Looking them all in the eye I led the ‘meeting’ by sharing what had been said and asking the other Team members if they felt that way also, b/c Miss I NEED TO GET LAID was speaking for them (and if there’s one thing Team members DO NOT like is another Team Member speaking for them).
Shock.
And silence.
“So”, I said, “this is how it’s going to play out”, and I preceded to TELL THEM that a private apology was in order and a cognizant awareness of ‘words’ and the ability of adults being the bully was very damaging.
The principal ended up monitoring her behavior and even though I required an apology from only the offending teacher- they all got on board.
Turns out- this teacher had been bullying several kids and other parents came forward.
She left the next year.
Sometimes ya just gotta ROAR!
Author
Wow! Yep… I’ve been there too! Thanks for sharing!
You go, girl. I know that trick too, I don’t sit down plus I’m only 5ft tall and I need all the power I can find. Similar thing happened. Smoke was coming out of my ears. No one messes with my baby, no teacher (I was a teach too) no kid, nobody. It got resolved. Stupid teach got transferred. Now my baby is a Yale prof and he remembers how NOT to be with the students, no dumbass power trips.
I think we could rule the world.
We’ve been lucky in that our 9 year old is a lot like me. She makes friends easily with anyone and has a pretty sharp tongue. I do dread middle school though and worry about my middle one since he’s tiny for his age and very sensitive to even the slightest criticism. Good for you for saying something, I say. That girl did the right thing in apologizing so she was probably raised by decent parents. Had you done that to my daughter and I asked her if she kicked the other girl and she said yes, I’d have no ill feelings towards you at all.
Author
Yes, I spoke to the teacher then next day and told her that the child apologised and the teacher agreed she has a good heart but made a bad choice.
Yes. I went Mama Bear on a kid. After months of bullying my son, letters, phone calls to the bus driver, school, counselor, and principal.
His Mother returned the favor. And, while I’m not proud to admit this, I told her, “Your child obviously learns his behaviors from you. If you don’t kindly get your ass off my property I will kick your ass in front of your kid. That’s a lesson he won’t forget.”
Author
Sometimes we have to just get like that to protect our own. I bet she hightailed it.
Love this Molley! All of us mama bears come out of our dens to protect our cubs.
Bravo! Bravo! I woulda done the same thing, at least I would like to think I would. I hope that your little girl saw how well you handled it too. Great lesson all around.
I haven’t gone all Mama Bear (but, BOY have I had fantasies) but I HAVE taught my kids that whatever they are handed in life (good and bad) they are to give back in equal measure and then some. Hit me? I’ll block you, hit back and THEN throw in a smack of my own for good measure. Give me kindness, I’ll give it back to you a thousandfold.
Good on ya, Molley – you did what all of us wish we had the guts to.
Good for you! That kid’s mom can’t say shit to you. You did nothing wrong, and her kid assaulted yours!
Author
It’s not about whether her child was wrong or not, some mothers just go ghetto on your arse up here. It’s the nature of the beast when you’re a minority.. but so far so good 😉
Can’t blame you! Gotta protect those cubbies! And what 9 year old girls kicks? I think you did her an excellent favor. Way to go.
Author
Yeah she’ll think twice before touching my little one again
You did right by your kid in a respectful way. That’s what matters. Go Mama Bear!
Good for you. If the school’s not going to take care of it, sometimes you have to take matters into your own hands. And you handled it really well. You weren’t nasty. You just told her what’s what. But sometimes I have those fears, too, if I say something that’s honest but not appreciated. But you just have to stad your ground.
Thanks so much for sharing with Adorned From Above\’s Blog Hop. The party will be back this week starting Tuesday and 8:00PM mountain time. We can\’t wait to see what you have to share this week.Have a great week.Debi and Charly