This year I turn 47, I have a 25 yo step daughter, a 14 yo son and an 11 yo daughter. Life is marching on, 50 is waiting in the wings and I’m not happy about it.

Turning 50 is not something I’m ready for at all. Of course I’m happy that I get to do it because it means I’m still here to help my children reach their full potential and the alternative is way worse but age is actually starting to creep up.

When I was turning 30, I didn’t want to, in fact I refused, turning 29A instead and that continued right through my 30s and when 40 came, My Lord Dr King actually put 29K on my cake. :). He knows…

Once I turned 40, I told the kids I was no longer 29K but 35e and so on…. these day I’m not even discussing it.

But 50

Fucking 50.

50 is ten years off 60 and 15 years off old age pension. 49 A doesn’t even sound better.

It’s a strange feeling because my Dad is gone now and my mum is one year off retirement. My uncles and aunts are all old! Old like my grandparents used to be, they’ve become the grandparents and we’ve become them, with children, some of whom are  getting married and having children. Even my younger brothers kids are grown ups. There’ll start to be more  trips home for funerals than weddings. That time is coming.

It’s nuts…

When my Lord Dr King was in Oz and caught up with a very special family he calls his own as much as his own, the youngest got out of bed at 4am to take him to the train station when he was leaving. This kid, who to us will always be a gawky 14 yo kid hanging around the piano shop and playing sax…. he’s 35!

I guess what I’m getting at is the creep just happens, you live your lives and the years come and go, your parents get older and your children grow and when you look in the mirror, although you see signs of your mother and grandmother (have a look, it’s fascinating) looking back at you, don’t you wonder why you still feel like that 20 something?

A bit more wisdom, a lot more life experience, road weariness and a mellowness that allows you to accept what’s next but still be the same person. Well that’s how I feel. I wonder if turning 50 will make my inner person come of age too.

I don’t know the original source of this… but it’s super cute.

Who knows… I’ve got 3 years to wait.